Last Words

I came up with these some while back - thought I would share

Last words of

An electrician

Do you smell gas?

Gas engineer

Is the power turned off?

A male black widow spider

How was it for you?

Farmer

You’ll be fine son, as long as you make sure the bull knows who’s boss.

Microbiologist.

Damn, I knew I should not have opened that petri dish.

Child

Mama this lemonade tastes funny.

Parachutist

Not the reserve as

w

   e

      l

        l!

Plumber

Man, this boiler is really really hot

Amateur astronomer

You know, it looks just like that meteor is heading right for us.

Boat Owner

Don’t worry, this boat is” unsinkable”

Yacht Owner

I don’t care how big he is….power should give way to sail.

Atheist

Thank God that's over

Agnostic

At least I'll find out now

God

Let there be light

Limerick

Hard day today so too tired to write anything sensible but as I am a sucker for Limericks and other assorted silly poems and nonsense rhymes - here is one I prepared earlier.

There was a man from Looe

who never knew what to do

he jumped off the pavement

'cause he knew not what the wave meant

and was run over by a salesman from Crewe

You are allowed to groan at this point.

You couldn't make it up........

There are things in life that make you smile that you dare not show it at the time. An elderly relative  asked whether I could do a favour and digitise an old photograph for her.

“No Problem,” I said

She showed me a photo and  said that it was a picture of her sister and brother-in-law taken back in the 70’s. She asked whether I could touch up the photo in any way.

“No Problem,” I said. I explained how I would scan the photo and about digital manipulation.

She looked at the photo for a while and then mentioned that she hated the leather hat that her Brother in Law was wearing. She asked would be possible to remove it?

I said I could but would have to digitally paint in the hair and give a general tidy up. I then asked whether she knew her brother-in-law's hairstyle and hair colour. She looked at me rather quizzically and said

 "Well, you will see that when you remove the hat.”

I did it, I managed it, she might have seen a twitch but I kept on my poker face and successfully hid the smile.

Murder was the only option

.

The relationship started so well. Like all good relationships it was a blank canvas. 

Three weeks might not seem to be a long  time to go from the idea of love, to that of hatred and frustration. But the intensity of the relationship has made it feel that time has stretched. 

It has taken over my life and my being for that short but sharp period. Every free moment and every waking moment it has consumed me.

I know that the faults with the relationship were all mine; but it had to end. 

Murder was the only option.

I am sad, but I am now free to get on with my life, to move on. All it took was a pot of gesso and a brush. The canvas is blank again.

We are not Destroying the planet

My thought of today regarding those who glibly try to impress by using superlatives.

This might be more of a criticism regarding semantics but it does irk me those who spout we are destroying the planet at every opportunity. We are not. We may be exterminating many species, we may be changing the climate and having a negative effect on the ecosphere and biosphere. But we're not destroying the planet. 

Nature is pervasive it is also extremely adaptable. You only have to look at lost civilisations of the past that have been overwhelmed and reinstalled back into the natural environment. It has to be remembered that very far in the past the oxygen level was at 40% not the 21% it is now. During this period, it has been said, that there was no ice on the planet -even at the poles. There have been ice ages where much of the land was buried under kilometres of ice. 

The world, as it currently stands has life in every corner, under the icy oceans, in volcanic vents as well as most other environments we have tested. So I reiterate - life is pernicious. If we, Homo sapiens, as a species, decide to over breed ourselves into extinction and become consigned to the same fate as Neanderthal; we may take many other species with us, we may have changed the global atmosphere significantly before our demise. But the planet, Earth, the body in orbit around the sun will do very nicely without us.

The reason this blog is called 'From Three to Seven Billion and Counting'

You may have noticed that this blog’s URL is entitled ‘From three to seven billion and counting’. So I thought this an opportunity moment to explain the reason for this. When I was born there were three billion people on this planet; there are now getting close to seven billion and I am not THAT old. Here is a good website to see the impact of the ‘still counting’ aspect of the blog title, worldometers.

From a personal point of view, therefore, I am currently one of 7 billion on this planet and thus my importance in the scheme of things is more likely to be 1 billion times less than I think it is. This also applies to you. Sorry to tell you that. I, like you, are important to a few select friends and family. This applies to whether you are famous or not. It seems we live in a society that courts fame and has bred a generation of people who see fame is the most important aspiration of their lives.

Fame, as a measure of self-worth is a dangerous rule to use. It has no meaning, it has no depth and it is extremely transient. Maybe it is even sadder for those who live in the spurious shadow of the fame of others. I might be in the minority here but I do not understand this love of the famous just because they are famous. This is not to be confused with respect or admiration for skill and talent. But the daily ins and out of who is shagging who or has put on weight or had Botox is extremely meaningless and tedious in the scheme of the world. 

I have digressed from what I was originally going to say but as this is my blog can do what I want. Going back to the title, there are many implications that can be inferred from three to seven billion and counting - but in then end they are simple ramblings from one seven billionth of the population (and counting).